MARCH NEWSLETTER

GRACE IN HIS WAKE

As some of you know I am now home with my father aided by hospice during his final months or weeks. There is a lot to do, medicines to administer, laundry, phone calls to friends, errands, strings to tie up, meals to make. My father is heavily medicated to ease his pain and yet he is lucid many moments of the day. My brother is here now and visitors are coming and going.

When I was a little girl my dad was struggling to provide for our family. He worked as an insurance salesman during the day and at night he studied for the bar. The only time my dad and I had alone time together was late at night when he was busy studying. I would wake up, patter out of my room and crawl onto his lap. We would eat cheese and talk. During one of our talks I expressed a fear of death. He looked me in the eye and said, “There is nothing to be afraid of. Death is either a great adventure or a long sleep. Either way it is nothing to be afraid of.” This eased my fears and I could go back to sleep.

Now my father is quickly approaching death. It is hard to relay to friends and family how blissful he is. Everything he told me about death when I was a young girl is being lived out in his experience now. When he is not in severe pain he expresses gratitude freely, is contented and joyful. My home is filled with this grace left in the wake of his bliss. Everything we need for his care is coming quite easily. I am just riding his wake and doing whatever is in front of me to do, giving up my plans and being in the moment. The home is harmonious and flowing.

I share this with you as a different vision of death and dying. My dad and I worked out our difficulties and are now free to love each other. There were many things to work out, many fights and stand offs. The key is we were willing to keep at it. Now the rewards are pouring in. I am free to love him without restraint and he is free to leave this Earth with a clear heart. What a final gift he gives in his graceful leaving!

It is because of my father’s support that I have been able to devote my life to supporting spiritual mothering and homemaking. He is in large part responsible for the work we do together. If any of you feel moved to send a card of gratitude to him know that it will be deeply appreciated. Our address is: 19201 Twin Oaks Lane, Sonoma, CA, 95476. This invitation is another way of surrounding him with the love he so richly deserves. My brother is offering the same opportunity over his website.

May my father’s lesson about death bear sweet fruits in your life.

Jacqueline

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