MARCH NEWSLETTER

IN PRAISE OF NON-PERFECTION

I live in Sonoma County in which there is acre after acre of grape vines. We share the same climate as Tuscany and the South of France, hot in the summer and rainy in the winter. Fecund with flora and fauna, it is a land where roses and fig trees grow like weeds. No snow and seldom a thunder storm, earthquake country, deer and owl country. I walk my dog Yessie along the dirt and tar covered lanes enjoying the miracles of nature’s endless creativity.

But even this beautiful, rich land can and does fall prey to the disease of the human drive to control life. While walking I pass vineyards filled with wild plant life, their derogatory title being weeds, between the grapes. I also see grapevines that have nothing but sienna colored soil surrounding them, just grapevines and soil. I see front yards that relax into the riotous expression of complex life forms and yards in which there is only one expression of green grass with flower beds in perfect rows. When I see these perfect front lawns and vineyards my heart sinks. I know that they are using poison to perform this magic act of perfectionism. When Nicole was growing up there were days many of the children in her school would exhibit signs of mysterious respiratory difficulties. On these same days I watched men covered from head to toe in white protective gear spraying the vines. The children had no such protective clothing. I know that good people who would consider themselves Earth friendly are performing these acts of plant genocide. If my neighbors in paradise are willingly adding to the destruction of life of Earth what chance does this Earth have? You can move to the country, to a South Seas island, to the desert in Nevada but there is no place to hide any longer from what we all are doing to this planet.

We live in a time where people are waking up to the fact that we humans are destroying this beautiful blue green orb with our careless use of its resources. This reality is no longer a fringe issue. Even the mainstream media and big corporations are speaking about “going green”. Yet even here in Sonoma County amongst people who came here to enjoy nature’s bounty our disease of perfectionism is destroying life everyday. The barrier to Earth friendly living is not simply awareness of the problem. It comes down to a hard look at ourselves and our lifestyles to learn how we are each contributing to the Earth’s demise. It comes down to each of us sacrificing our additions to perfection.

I’ve seen perfectionism destroy potentially happy homes and families. Domestic violence counselors say that the violence stems from the need to control. Life is messy and the more insecure we are the more freaked out we get about this wild, unpredictable universe. It is this fear of the unknown, fear of Kali, fear of entropy that drives us to try to control at least the little piece of nature that is within our scope. This may mean the people in our family, our home or our front lawn. When we temporarily get one of these into some semblance of order we take a breath only to be roused again by the unruliness of a lawn that grows weeds, a child that doesn’t live between the lines and a home that is jostled by being lived in. It is a hopeless battle and every night we go to bed weary at our failure to control even the little piece of the universe within our scope.

I know what it feels like to try and keep a perfect home. On cleaning day I become a real uptight shrew. I want to sit in my perfect living room and enjoy the benefit of my efforts. But life intrudes, the grandbaby pulls out her blocks, the puppy scatters her squeaky toys around, someone leaves a cup in the sink and there goes perfection. Oh, if only life were neat and predictable! If only I mowed my lawn and it stayed mowed, if only my children just went to school, did their homework and went to bed at night without a problem. If only the blackberry vines stayed out of my rose garden. If only…..if only….there is no end to the places control would seem to make my life easier. In reality control is impossible making the quest for perfection a fool’s errand.

Somehow, if people of good faith are going to live peaceably on this wild planet, we need to make friends with chaos. Otherwise the lure to control with pesticides and other forms of violence is too tempting. Fear and annihilation are prime tools in the effort to control. It is just too tempting to resort to these forms of violence towards one another and the environment, even if we are good hearted people. We need to make friends with the messiness of life. We need to give the weeds names; wild radish, purslane, cheeseweed, Shepard’s purse. We need to see things like car accidents, children’s problems at school, family quarrels and flu as just part of life rather than things that get in the way of life.

The whole thing is life; the problems, the peaceful times, the weeds and the roses. If life on this planet is to continue we all need to engage in a deep healing. We need to face our disease to control and make friends with the messiness of life.

Previous months Newsletters | May, 03 | June, 03 | July, 03 | Aug. 03 | Sept. 03 | Oct. 03 | Nov 03 | Dec 03 | Jan. 04 | Feb. 04 | Mar. 04 | Apr.04 | May 04 | Jun 04 | July 04 | Aug 04 | Sept. 04 | Oct 04 | Nov. 04 | Dec. 04 | Jan 05 | Feb 05 | Mar 05 | Apr 05 | May 05 | Jun 05 | July 05 | Aug 05 | Sept 05 | Oct. 05 | Nov 05 | Dec 05 | Jan 06 | Feb. 06 | Mar 06 | Apr 06 | May 06