MARCH NEWSLETTER

I am starting with generosity because generosity is the base of all other practices. It is the first practice that the Buddha taught his new students and it is the first practice we teach our children when as we guide them to share their toys. There are many reasons to practice generosity, because it helps others, because it feels good, but at the crux of the spiritual practice of generosity is the development of non attachment. The word for generosity in Pali, the language the Buddha taught in, is amoha, which means non greed. Generosity is the absence of greed. It is an open handed approach to life. The practice of generosity does not require we reach a certain stage in our lives and finances. We can practice generosity right now wherever we are in our development or financial status. Some of the beauties of this practice is that it bears immediate results in the form of ease and joy in ourselves, inspires others to open up and express their goodness and creates a harmonious atmosphere. When we are generous we are teaching generosity and this practice snowballs.

The Buddha talked about different degrees of giving. We can give away things we no longer want and that is called beggarly giving. It is not a stretch to give this way. It is really more like recycling and has its value. The next is giving from our bounty. We have a full garden and we share the fruits with our neighbors. There is a joy and fullness in this sort of giving. The last form is kingly giving. With kingly giving we give what is dearest to us. To practice kingly giving requires great detachment and great open hearted generosity.

In the bible we are advised to tithe 10%. I find that to be a good yardstick to begin with. When I received my advance for Buddha Mom I took 10% right off the top, which was quite a bit of money for me. I sat down and wrote checks to all my favorite charities. I also have a practice of donating a certain amount of money at the end of each month when I pay my bills to causes I wish to support. I collect envelopes of different charities and choose one each month. We in the West have so much. We tend to have an impulse to share that bounty as was evidenced after the tsunami of 2005. We are learning to become savvy at the practice of sharing by looking more closely to the organizations we support. This sharing can become a practice, a habit, just part of our lives.

Curiously, generosity breeds abundance. I watched my mom, who was one of these people who would give you the shirt off her back and who was not attached to material possessions, draw to her everything she needed with great ease. I’ve seen this with others as well. They give what they have abundantly and with joy and receive what they need with ease. I’ve also seen the opposite in friends who cling to their things, dole out affection preciously, and live in a state of lack. What seems to be the healthiest relationship is a free flow of giving and receiving, coming and going, like porous skin taking in the nourishment and releasing the toxins. We are all part of many ongoing cycles.

Giving and receiving is an interdependent tape loop. Many woman I talk with are more comfortable giving than receiving so any discussion on giving needs to include receiving for there to be balance. The other day I took a friend to the hospital for an operation and prayed for her healing as I waited for her to come out of surgery. When I was driving her home she broke down in tears and confessed how hard it was for her to be so vulnerable, to let someone give to her. This friend is one of the most giving people I know. She volunteers in the role of clergy to go with police officers as they knock on the door to tell relatives that their son, daughter, father or mother just died in an accident. She stays and supports these people in any way they need her to and yet when it came time for her to receive this same support she struggled. In the West we are taught it is better to give than receive. I think this has created a disorder. It seems that it is better to give AND receive. When we give we are in control. When we receive the other person is in control. Some of us find giving challenging others find receiving challenging. I reminded my friend that when she receives she is supplying me with the opportunity to give and that in itself is an act of generosity.

At the heart of the practice of generosity is letting go of attachment. We find our edge, what can we let go of right now, and stretch from there. There is no value in comparing ourselves with other people. We have our edge, they have theirs. Each time we let go of more attachments we become lighter and more available to expression of our true nature. This is a great mental preparation for the mystical experience of unification.

Jacqueline