The Buddamom

February newsletter

I came out of the fullness and activity of December into the stillness of a loving kindness retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in January. On this retreat we remained silent the full 7 days, had our AYogi duties@ which included everything from chopping vegetables to cleaning toilets (I was in charge of the public toilets) and meditated on the instruction given by our very fine teachers. If you have never experienced the joy of sitting in silence with a group of people I wish this for you. A retreat is an amazing opportunity to be supported in your meditation by a community of like minded people. A lot of intelligence went into creating Spirit Rock and I am grateful to all the mindful building and planning that made it possible for meditators to focus on spiritual growth. Since it is my full commitment to serve and support mothers you were with me in consciousness on the retreat. Just as a friend can=t wait to share some wonderful finds with another friend, I am happy to share some of the gifts I received from this retreat with you.

The meditation we practiced was simple. We said, over and over, in our minds, AMay I be protected and safe, may I be contented, may I be healthy and may I live with ease@. After each wish a moment was taken to really feel this quality. For instance, after saying AMay I be protected and safe@, a moment is taken to really relax into that feeling of been safe and protected. For me that meant walking in the world knowing that I am safe. After saying AMay I be contented@, a moment to remember a time of contentment and really feel it again is enjoyed. After saying, AMay I be healthy@, we really feel what it is, or would be, like to have a healthy, comfortable body and AMay I live with ease@, we imagine letting everything negative just roll off us like water off a duck=s back.

When I came home there were a million things to attend to. After looking at about 60 emails, returning calls and putting my home back in order, I settled into a lovely bath. As I was bathing I continued saying these phrases. Getting out of the bath and putting lotion on I continued with the phrases, AMay I be safe. May I be contented. May I be healthy. May I live with ease@. There was a new sweetness to this common task of self-care. It had the added value of bringing more love into the world and thereby becoming a spiritual practice.

I have been sitting with the question, AHow can I support busy mothers in caring for themselves spiritually?@ A daily practice is so important but I understand that when you have small ones around it can be quite difficult the take the time to sit down and meditate. There is not substitute for a daily sitting practice. A morning meditation practice, no matter how short a time it may be, becomes the reference point for our whole day. Yet, for those of us who want, or need, to do more this simple loving kindness meditation can work wonders for centering us in our heart=s desire to open our hearts to greater loving in our lives. We can practice at red lights while we chaffier our children to their various activities. We can practice while we nurse the baby. We can practice while we wash our face and brush our teeth or when preparing for bed.

The bottom line is, happy mother = happy family = happy world. We always start with ourselves and move from there. We can only give what we already have and we can replenish our store of love by taking time to love ourselves each day. For those of you who can go on a retreat I highly recommend a week long or a weekend Metta retreat with Sylvia Boorstein, Guy Armstrong, Sally Clough or Sharon Salzberg. You can find our about their schedule by contacting http://spiritrock.org/ When Nicole was small she stayed with her father when I went on retreat. When that wasn=t possible she stayed with friends who had a child her age. It was a priority for me to go on retreat and spiritually replenish myself so I created a way to do this. Whenever I went on a meditation retreat everyone in my family benefited since I returned home with so much more to give.

I am currently working on ideas about spiritual retreats for mothers. I would love to create a space for mothers to get together in order to deepen their spiritual practice and support one another in the awesome and beautiful task of conscious mothering. Any ideas you might have on this subject are welcome. I can see bringing this retreat into different communities. It would be a chance for me to come and visit you and provide some more experiential support for the important work you do in creating a happy, peaceful world.