The Buddamom.com
June
Newsletter...
Dear Friends,
I would like to start this June edition of the newsletter to apologize for
returned messages sent via the
buddhamom.com website. It seems that the address was written incorrectly and
so I did not receive any of
your messages. All I can say is, you who are persistent enough to return in
spite of it, please try to contact
me again. The website is new and we are working on getting all the kinks out
of it. And on that note if you
know of any other websites that might be of interest to visitors to
buddhamom.com I'd love if
you'd share them with me. Piece by piece we are building this wonderful
structure in which mindful
parenting can be supported.
I have been thinking a lot about commitment lately. While I was in a local
coffee shop I ran into a woman who
was feeling shut out by her teenage daughter. (Can anyone relate to this?) She
was wanting some support,
feeling lost. I told her about how when my daughter, Nicole, was a teenager
there were times I felt like I had
lost her completely. It was painful and it was scarey. Now, at 22, she and I
have a deep closeness. She
comes to me for mentoring and asks me for my thoughts on different issues she
is faced with, a far cry from
the teenager who wanted nothing to do with me. I told my friend to just hang
in there and keep loving her
daughter no matter what her daughter dishes out. In time the situation will
shift.
Commitment. Commitment to our children, to loving them no matter what they may
say or do. Commitment
to grow ourselves up to the point where we can get past our own emotional
response long enough to
remember that we love our child, and that's the bottom line. So many times
I've seen parents
give up on their teenage children. There were times when Nicole was a teenager
that I didn't like her
but I always loved her, just as I'm sure you love your child. It's important
to remember this love,
to consciously fuel it, and to let our teenagers know that nothing can change
it. I used to tell Nicole that just
like the mother in "The Runnaway Bunny" if she turns into a tree I will turn
into a bird and perch in her
branches. Even though she was an angry teenager this always got a little smile
from her. (Never
underestimate the power of humor!) While giving our children space to become
who they are and move into
the world we stay staunch in our love and support. It's an interesting
combination of holding tightly
and letting go lightly.
I'm sharing this thought as a mother who is on the other side of this
particular puzzle. I did not have it
easy during Nicole's teenage years. I'm so glad I committed to loving Nicole
even when she
expressed hate for me. I'm so glad I didn't succumb to my hurt feelings and
turn our
relationship into one of reactions and escalations. We need to love our
precious teenagers, our
child-women and child-men, through our pain. And through this expression of
unconditional love we deepen
our spiritual practice and heal our old wounds.
I wish you a beautiful, expansive June. Everything it growing during this
fruitful time of the year. May your
heart grow and may you reap the bliss of an expansive, full heart.
Jacqueline
Previous months Newsletters | May, 03 |