MARCH NEWSLETTER

KEYS TO THE DIVINE ABODE

May 2005 newsletter

On this month of May when we honor mothers I want to join in the chorus of praises. It is the love of a mother for her child that the Buddha takes as his model of universal love. Mothers love selflessly, provide safety and guidance and see to the welfare of their children as a matter of course throughout the day. We forget to stand back and take a look at the good we are doing each day, both for our families and for the planet. We sometimes forget to extend that same love to ourselves. Perhaps mothers day could be a day when mothers take a moment to love themselves.

Love is not a quality we either have or lack but a birthright that can be nurtured and developed. In Buddhism the Brahma Vihara, or Divine abiding, are the states of mind in which there is loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. We all know how it feels to look at a loved one and, for that moment, radiate joy. We all know how it feels to look at someone in pain and, for that moment, feel their pain as if it were our own. The Buddha taught that to feel this connection for even one moment is to live as the gods live. This is the Divine Abode.

In loving kindness meditation we always start with ourselves. This has been a challenge for myself and some other mothers I know. I could summon up the feeling of love for another but when I tried to feel loving kindness for myself my mind would remain stuck in a dry, lifeless place. I’d say the words but not feel the glow. In loving kindness meditation we want to actually feel the emotion of love. This is different than Vipassana or satipanna meditation where we are cultivating awareness in the present moment. In loving kindness meditation we are using the emotion of love as the key to the Brahma Vihara, the key to open the door to the blissful state of love.

They say we teach what we need to learn. This is true for me and my lifelong path towards greater loving kindness. This morning I sat down in loving kindness meditation and was able to bring myself to a place of compassion and kindness towards myself. I didn’t start there. This week has been challenging. The old demons of self-doubt were rearing their heads as I sat on my cushion. Those feelings crowd in on us and make it hard to experience spaciousness. In order to create more mental space I pulled my consciousness up above where I was sitting and looked down on myself as I would someone sitting before me. I looked at all the kind things I do and say, at how my heart sincerely desires the well being of others, how I’ve created a nest in which to write and share what I’m learning. It didn’t take long until I was feeling heartful appreciation and love for myself. I then went on to extend that love to those who are close to me, to friends I have not yet met, to people I’ve felt judgment towards and to all beings. I carefully stoked the fire of the love for myself knowing that it is the spark from which the fire of love towards others burns.

On this mother’s day week my own mother is very much with me. I would like to close this newsletter with a poem she wrote.

THE TAO OF ROSE

How can I find my inner peace?

By closing the door on my ancient war.

How can I heal a hurting heart?

By touching the heart of my hurting soul.

How can I be the truest friend?

By being a friend to my truest self.

How can I tap my greatest joy?

By embracing and blessing my greatest pain.

Where can my courage arise and take form?

In the depths of my fear,

In the eyes of the storm.

Where can I hear the sweetest song?

In the promise of dawn when

the night has been long.

Where does my dying lead...to the earth?

The seed is but sleeping,

in dying there’s birth.

Happy mothers day mother. I bow to you wherever you are. Happy mother’s day dear mothers. I bow to you just the way you are right now.