Buddamom.com October
Newsletter...
In the fall, when the leaves are red and orange and yellow and dry, I always
feel pulled back to my Jewish
roots. When I was a child my family would go to temple during the high holy
days, which falls between the
last weeks of September and the first weeks of October. Rosh Hashanah, the
Jewish new year, is
traditionally known as the time of judgment. Yom Kippur occurs 10 days after
Rosh Hashanah and is
known as the day of atonement. Without being aware of why, I tend to feel
melancholy around this time of
year, restless, dissatisfied. Last week I got a haircut (I'm now having a bad
hair week), cleaned out
cupboards that hadn't been changed since the 70's and dreamed about leaving
this home for a
less work intensive living environment. I find myself crying easily, feeling
the pain and anxiety of the world
around me.
From the cabbalist viewpoint, the viewpoint closest to my heart, Rosh Hashanah
is, "our opportunity to
confront the negative energy aroused through the wrongful acts we've committed
during the
preceding year." Judgment is just the middle eastern culture's way of
expressing the law of
cause and effect. In new thought it is taught that we create our lives by our
thinking, that this thinking is the
cause and our outward lives the effect. In science it is taught that for every
action there is a corresponding
and equivalent reaction. In Buddhism it is taught that there is a law of karma
which is always operative.
Different words by different cultures to describe the same phenomena.
It is difficult to look at where we fall short of our spiritual ideals. We all
like to think of ourselves as good
people and looking at our shadow flys in the face of that. In its wisdom the
Jewish culture takes this time of
year, when the world is dying all around us, to remember that we all fall
short of our ideals, that we all have
angry, jealous and covetous thoughts. It is a time to face those thoughts
bravely in order to release them.
As AA reminds us, in order to heal it we need to first feel it.
Then comes Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. After looking at our shadow
squarely we can then purify it
with our tears and deep remorse. Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair wrote, "When
someone prays to God with
eyes of tears, those prayers fly straight through the Gate of Tears." How
cleansing tears are! How freeing
to admit to unwholesome thoughts without guilt but with remorse. Guilt muddies
the waters with our egos,
remorse cleanses the waters with our tears.
I have been wincing as I look at small, petty thoughts I've been carrying, but
admitting to them. It is
my sincere wish to be a loving presence in this troubled world and in order to
do this I need to keep
cleaning my own mirror. Also, by facing my own arrogance, small mindedness and
judgmentalism, I remain
in touch with my humanity. We are all in this together. It is important to
focus on the light but by looking at
our shadow we have the opportunity to cleanse our psyche and shine even
brighter.
Wishing you a deeper joy than you have ever known before in this season of
atonement.
Jacqueline
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